Weekend Coffee Share....Come Sit with Me

The Weather: Hot, dry and no rain in sight! 

What I'm thinking about: My dad. Last Wednesday I got a phone call from my sister that my dad was in the hospital and it wasn't looking good. His health has not been good the last few years, probably longer. I was able to be at the hospital and was with him when he passed away on Thursday afternoon. I sat at the hospital from 1:15am Thursday until we left the hospital at about 6:00 that night. I left once to go get a coffee and something to eat when the nurses came in and shooed us out to do some care on him. So he has been on my mind all week. 

What I'm thankful for: The time I had with my dad. I didn't get to physically see him often, but we talked 4-5 times a week and though our relationship through the years wasn't a fairy tale, daddy daughter one, we were able to get over past circumstances and remain close and have a solid relationship. I'm thankful that I was able, over the years, to not let things that happened in the past breed anger, bitterness, resentment, etc. I'm thankful I was able to just realize that "it was what it was," and I took our relationship for what it was. 

What I'm reading or have read: I finished my book club book, The Last Thing He Told Me. It was a good read. I'm coming up with questions for when our book club meets. I started reading my book by Sophie Minchelli, The Sweetness of Doing Nothing, Live Life the Italian Way with Dolce Far Niente. It's not about being lazy...lol. It's amazing how things are timely though. I receive e-mails from Richard Rohr and this week (though I haven't read them yet) were all about crisis, and God being near and not far, about generational wounds. I will sit this weekend and read them. 

Around the house: Earlier in the day last Wednesday before I got the phone call about my dad, we met with a gal to help us decide on tile and paint colors. It was successful, but now we have to re-pick the floor tile because the cost of the one we liked was way too expensive. We need to get some color samples for paint to decide what we want to use. We have four colors that are options. Benjamin Moore Kingsport Gray for bedroom, clay beige for bathroom, and then deciding between; Misty Air, Elephant Tusk and Elmira White. Pretty sure Elephant Tusk will be one, then just choosing between the others. 

On the downside, on Wednesday morning I noticed some water by the trim on our kitchen floor. I wiped it up trying to think of what I spilled....but it still seemed wet so I kept an eye on it. I noticed it again Thursday morning. Unfortunately it appears a line in our heating unit is clogged or leaking, so we've had to remove trim, move things out of kitchen, turn off AC (it's been in the mid 90's the last two days), and heating company is coming this morning. Hopefully they can fix it BUT we may have to submit to our insurance and replace some sheetrock and our kitchen floor. Not the best timing but we've gone back and forth on replacing our kitchen/hall floors at some point anyways. My husband works for a restoration company so that has been helpful as far as resources go. 

What I'm learning, realizing or understanding: That it truly doesn't pay to live in the past, live with regrets, and hold on to hurts or live in the past. It just eats you up. Make time for those you love, in whatever way you are able to. Leave things in a good place after interactions because they might be your last. Don't keep things from those you love. Even if your intentions are well meaning. Understanding that grief has no rules and we are all allowed to grieve our own way, there's no right or wrong way. We usually don't know the history between people which might also impact how they grieve. 

From the Kitchen: This week has been a bit off since everything happened. On Friday a sweet friend of my daughters brought us a meal, and my husband went to costco and picked up two of their meals (we love their street tacos and mac and cheese). So we ate the meal that was brought to us friday (pasta, salad and bread), and then saturday we headed up to my oldest daughters home to hang out while my hubby and our friend did some work on their home that they recently bought and are remodeling. It's a 1925 home and really cute, with lots of character. We brought the Costco meals with us for that. On Sunday, I don't remember what I did. Well, honestly, I don't remember what I did monday or tuesday either...lol. Wednesday I made some sourdough raisin bread. It was a bread I had made a few months ago and had been talking to my dad about but never got to share with him. It's so good. Here's where I got the recipe.  Tonight I'm going to do baked potatoes with veggies and a vegan cheese sauce. Since I'm not sure the condition my kitchen will be in when I get home, let's keep it simple. 

Favorite quote from the week:  I know I've mentioned that I am a lover of quotes and meaningful (and silly) memes. This week, so many have spoken to me....in part because of the creepy way FB stalks you and so all of a sudden quotes about grief, sadness, etc, seem to be appearing on my FB, but they've been good ones, so it's okay. This one though came up on my memories and it's one I really love. 

What I've listened to: Honestly, I haven't listened to much lately. I tried to listen to a podcast the other day but just wasn't feeling it. I've just been liking silence, and some music. 

Random Happenings: Not much...I've just been going with the flow....doing what NEEDS to be done, but not worrying about much else. I didn't post last week so we did have a great birthday party for our grandson. He was NOT thrilled with the T-Rex costume my nephew wore, but still had a great time. This weekend I plan to head to my daughters to help her either unpack her kitchen if painters are done or just play with the kids. I was able to take last Thursday and Friday off which was good. So I had four days off after my dad passed before I returned to work. That Friday I went to my daughters house and we took Indiana to a splash park which he loved. Work has been normal this week, though I've been tired...and emotionally draining kind of tired. 

Photo(s) of the week:

Someone got LOTS of dinosaur toys for his birthday. 

Before his birthday party while his mom made him cake and cupcakes he and I went out and picked blueberries

Fun playing at the splash pad!

My dad was a taxidermist when we were younger. He was really good at it. 

At my oldest daughter's wedding. Boy, I've lost about 30 pounds and my hair is now silver...lol. (2015)

With his little buddy right before they moved to Texas. 

When we lived in Ohio he used to race canoes...yep it was a thing. That's my dad on the left and my uncle Jim on the right. My dad's name was Jim, and I had 3 uncles named Jim...haha!

His military photo. He was in the air force. I was born in England when he was stationed there. 

My mom and dads wedding. They're together now. 

He also was a drummer in a band! He was good too. I always wanted to learn but never did. 

Check out all the other posts on Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Natalie the Explorer. I'm off to go visit some now. #weekendcoffeeshare

With Joy Unquenchable,

Kirstin