My personality is pretty laid back. It takes a lot to rattle me, and I can pretty much let most things roll right off my back. One thing I think I'm really good at, is not over-reacting. I can take most things in stride and try really hard to "respond" rather than "react" to a situation. I try to "not sweat it". What good does that do anyways?
I really believe that part of Living Inside Out is learning some self-control. Learning that we are powerful people who get to choose how we are going to act when things come across our paths. Learning that reacting outrageously because your husband forgot to pay a bill, does not make that bill get paid on time...it's already late. It just drives a wedge between you. When your child backs in to a fire hydrant, screaming at them because, how could they be so careless, isn't going to change what already happened. Lashing out at someone who treated you wrong, does not change the scenario. The doorbell rings and your house is a mess but your friend stands there hoping you don't mind the drop by. Do you make excuses and close the door or do you suck it up and invite her in.
Many people struggle with anxiety and stress. I can't really relate because that hasn't been something I've allowed to take root in my own life. There have been moments where I've felt stressed, or maybe a bit anxious, but in the end it's usually a result of my own choosing. I'm not in-validating (is that even a word?) anyone else's experiences, I'm just saying that more often than not, the way we are is a result of how we've chosen to respond or react to what life throws at us.
I love the reminder of this sign that hangs in our home: The majority of things we face in our lives, ends up being "small stuff" when we look back. I want to enjoy life without always worrying. I want to care but not care about some things. Yes, I like my house clean, but no I don't care if something is left out for a few days. Yes, I want my girls to clean their rooms, but no I don't care so much that I will rant and rave about it...I love it more that they live in my home and they are amazing young ladies. I know they'll get around to cleaning it.
I don't have this down perfectly. I have days when I'm short and make a bigger deal out of something than I need to, but I try and recognize it quickly. I try to remember that most stuff is just not that big of a deal. I'm not saying to go out and live like pigs or let anything fly, or live recklessly or irresponsibly. I'm saying relax a little. Enjoy life! Enjoy people! Enjoy yourself! And if you can do that all while keeping every duck in order and the house spotless, more power to you!
I started working a year ago, after NOT working for 17 years. This job, while I guess might not be considered "work" by some because I simply assist an older lady 4 days a week, takes me out of my home for 3 hours 4 days a week and that is 3 hours that I'm not home cleaning, helping someone with school, running errands, etc..It has been an adjustment. I haven't always done so well with certain things. I've had to learn to just let some things go and not sweat it. I also babysit an awesome little boy (my girls help me with this when I leave the house for work). It was a huge change for all of us. I'm still learning how to juggle it all. But I am learning not to sweat it so much. I admire women who work full time and somehow manage to at least appear to have it all together. I'd love to be a fly on their walls. I admit, I love to browse the internet and read books or do puzzles..much more than having my house spotless.
So my encouragement in this babbling (I'm discovering that weekends are very hard to sit and focus to write...too much going on) is to just learn to relax. Relax in your relationships, relax in your expectations, just relax and take a chill pill. We can all probably sit down, reflect and realize that we make some pretty big deals out of some pretty insignificant things.
With Joy UNquenchable,